Dear Friends

many people are confusing the terms “sensitivity” and “emotional hypersensitivity”. They think that being under the permanent influence of emotions means they are sensitive.

In reality the term “Highly Sensitive Person” or HSP means a person with highly tuned nervous system, all the senses work more intensively and with higher precision. And this is not all, sensitive persons have a greater feeling of the emotions around them, empathy and holistic sense of the world.

Sensitive persons have an intensive desire for peace and tranquility, but the way our world functions can lead them to the opposite, hatred and destruction.

The people who are constantly under the influence of emotions are, in fact, addicted to these emotions. Either they are sensitive people or not, they need help as everyone who is addicted to a substance. And if the sensitive persons manage to escape from this addiction will be able to discover what a wonderful gift their sensitivity is.

So if up to now your sensitivity was nothing but trouble, maybe it’s time to give it space to develop instead of fighting it as an enemy. And if up to now your sensitivity was never accepted by other people around you, this doesn’t mean that you have to reject it yourself. To reject your nature is like rejecting the air that you breathe.

Sensitivity never tries to make you be what you are not, this is what the world around you does, your belief systems, prejudices and many traditions. Your sensitivity always reminds you who you really are, telling you always the truth. Maybe it’s time to learn how to listen to it.

Love

Antonis

This is something only highly sensitive people will understand and not all of them.
Inner fire is the main ingredient of an HSP, the passion for life; the meaning of life itself is this fire.
The reason that not all of the sensitive people will understand this is because many HSPs learned to protect themselves and play roles in order to survive. This is not conscious; it’s happening automatically and depends on the childhood experiences. Yes these again!

While for “normal” people life is simple; planning, acting, reacting, avoiding, a series of things based on Newtonian laws about cause and effect, everything has an explanation and it is always the simplest and most obvious one, for sensitive people the Newtonian laws are not that valid. There is not always a reason for doing something, and if there is it cannot be explained. Intuition, inspiration, seeking for joy, getting excited for what is different and more interesting, going for the real thing and not for the obvious these are the motivations.
This is the flame and it’s really burning.

Now what happens is that many sensitive people get involved with the “normal” ones, either in business or in life.
A business partner who looks at things the mechanistic way will never understand your fire. Will never understand how is it possible to have the intuition as motivation. Will never support your irrational way of thinking and your crazy ideas.
You from your side will never understand how is it possible people to see life in such a boring and meaningless way.

Same thing happens in a life relationship. Friends or lovers, even more, life partners, will have the best excuses to make you feel stupid for your choices, for your needs, for your ideas. Unfortunately it’s quite common.
You have a fire that leads to the ultimate joy if it’s honored and to the ultimate pain if it’s ignored or rejected. Doesn’t need to be explained and proved.

Many sensitives think that they are not ok and they have to change themselves in order to fit, but this is not the point. You don’t have to put out the fire just because they can’t take it.

My advice, be yourself, honor your flame. And if you see that people around you don’t honor it, don’t even accept it no matter how hard you try, find other people. It’s that simple.

Love

Antonis

This is a scene from Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams as therapist helps Will to wake up from his defences and his excuses for avoiding life.

I can imagine for you, sensitive person this can also be an awakening.
In many cases the abuse that you experienced as child can lead you to close yourself to a bubble and try to be safe. The result is avoiding living.
And abuse is not only beating and torturing, although it looks like it’s the most terrible; verbal abuse, being ignored, even being forced to play small so they can feel comfortable are also very serious cases.

It’s not your fault that you are sensitive. Actualy it’s nobody’s fault, if you manage to be in alignement with this, you will discover that it’a a gift and not a problem.
It’s not your fault that you are not accepted as you are. Turn this around by accepting yourself first.
It’s not your fault that people forced you to abandon your dreams. Your dreams are ok, reactivate them.
It’s not your fault that you had to play small in order to fit. You were young and needed to fit to your narrow environment. Now you can find the environment that is right for you, where you don’t have to play small if you are big.
It’s not your fault if you were abused by an older brother or sister, you developed skills and abilities for survival. What you have to do now is to not repeat it to others, since you hated it yourself, and to enjoy the gifts that you gained from this.
It’s not your fault that you didn’t become successful although you realy wanted to. You had other peoples’ beliefs and principals that didn’t fit to you. Change it and become successful now. It’s not too late.
It’s not your fault that you are not yourself. Be yourself, you have this right.

You have two options, to change all these things that are not your fault, or to hate everyone who caused them to you. If you chose the first you will feel good and you will change your life. If you chose the second you will fail, and this time it will be your fault.

Love

Antonis

Sometime, either we are sensitives or not, we discover that we had different dreams about our life, completely different from the life we live now, abilities we never used, wisdom we had to suppress, values we forced to reject, a wonderful life we never lived up to now.

I want to talk about the people who know everything, who have all the answers ready from their childhood who judge and condemn without a second thought.
For the highly sensitive people they can become a serious problem, especially in small age when the sensitives are still exploring the world, everything is open and possible and they create the opportunity to see life from many different points of view.
The reason I’m talking about the “intelligence of the lizard” is because, as we all know, lizards like all primitive animals are born ready to live, knowing everything they need to know about life. They can move in the world from the moment they come out of the egg.
On human level the ones who know everything, don’t just “know” how to live themselves, but they decide, judge and reject everyone who is seeking for answers.
If a sensitive child has this kind of persons around, people who developed an ironic and sarcastic attitude according to their “ready made absolute knowledge”, is going to be in trouble having a low self-esteem. And if these persons are members of this child’s closed circle then life will be really hard.

During my teen years when I didn’t have any answer ready and everything was open, I was admiring the ones who had everything easy. I thought then that arrogance and irony was just a natural thing since they knew everything (right the opposite from me). I thought that they were privileged, smart, cool and always the soul of the parties.
Now I see that things are different. Most of them today are just survivers. The rebels settled, the smart ones became victims, the cool developed phobias, and their relationships are bad or non existing.

If you have suffered in the past because of your sensitivity and nobody gave you the right to see the answers in life forcing you to accept the lizard’s instinct that we all carry inside us, maybe now it’s time to give this right to yourself.

I assure you that:

• It’s absolutely alright to have questions and to want to answer them through your experience,
  
• You can grow slowly and until you grow you have the right to be immature in many fields,
  
• You can ignore anyone who thinks that you’re small just because his lizard mind gave him the answers and not his experience and his wisdom,
  
• Everyone who has offered something valuable to this world (or any other world) is sensitive. These people never had ready answers but they found them by being open to life. And if their answers have given a lot of value, the right to be open and seek for them has offered much more.

Love

Antonis

  I’m afraid it’s not. This is what most people are suffering from. I know, it sound absurd but it’s the most common reality in this world.
How does it appear?
You can see it on many people, or even on yourself:

• - As self-sabotage, when things seem to go right you will just do the “right” movements for ruining everything,
• - Burning the bridges that can connect you to the people who can help and build stronger connections to the ones that will keep you down on the ground,
• - Procrastinating and avoiding everything that can give you results, no matter how pleasant or easy these actions can be,
• - Keeping yourself busy with unimportant activities,
• - Judging and rejecting ideas and thoughts that can have a positive influence in your life, usually with the excuse that they are not cool enough,
• - Starting always from the beginning, like inventing the wheel every single time,
• - Trying the same things again and again, even if you saw for thousands of times that they fail.
  

Now where is this fear coming from?
Most of it comes from the need for security and approval.

Of course you can ask me, isn’t success the best way to be secure and approved?
Not for the mind, not for the programs running in the back of the brain.

You see the experience for a child is that if you succeed, let’s say in the school, you are special, therefore not like the others, therefore alone.
If you prove smarter than your parents they will be scared and they will leave you alone.
If you go high there is nobody there, and in most of the cases this is true about the people of your environment.

Mind is powerful, more powerful than anything else in this universe. So if you really want to succeed don’t underestimate its power. Take it on your side.
No matter what people say that you need to work hard in order to succeed this is not the truth. The only way to success is to understand your thoughts, to read your mind, to recognize your hidden purpose, the one that gives you the fear and the guilt for every nice thing you achieve.

The only way to success is to open your eyes and see what is out there, but first you need to learn how to look!

Love

Antonis
  

A relationship is supposed to be alive. It’s not a solid foundation that you built and it will stay there forever, you need to participate and nourish it.
Many people think that by ignoring their partner they show their power and their freedom. In reality they refuse to see the truth.
Ignoring your partner it’s like closing your eyes, and when you close your eyes anything can happen.

The truth is that nobody belongs to you and you belong to nobody. Everyone is free to stay or to go, and attitudes like, demands, jealousy, abuse or ignoring are not offering anything to the relationship, in fact the opposite, they take away whatever has being built.

Taking someone for granted means that you don’t respect them, you don’t need them, and you don’t want to offer anything to them. Actually means that this relationship has no meaning for you.

Don’t be surprised then if one day this person will not be there for you any more, and don’t start asking “what did I do wrong?” or “why did he/she do that to me?”

The only way to treat your partner is the way you would like to be treated. Also the way you treat yourself. Honesty and attention are basic ingredients of a healthy relationship.

Love

Antonis

This is especially for sensitives.
Do you think that everyone around you is a potential threat? Do you observe that they never offer you what you want or need in your life? Do you allow your thoughts and emotions to be dominated by the fear, the negativity, and ultimately the hate against people who never take care of you and they just want to abuse you?

Well let’s reverse the question. What are you offering?
What are the excellence and the greatness that you offer to the world, that you offer to the people around you (when you don’t defend yourself from what’s threatening you)?

Dear sensitive, the fear that you feel and the anger about the people who don’t respect you or who are against you, keeps you busy from fulfilling your life dreams and purpose.
Sensitive people have so much to offer.
The problem is that because of all these things that you have been told, especially as child, all these words that told you who you are and you believed them made you think that you are worthless.

If you were worthless you wouldn’t have been here.

All this “knowledge” about what and who you are needs to be removed. Start by not believing a word from what they tell you, they have told you and what you keep telling to yourself.
The options are:
1) You will remain a poor victim of other people all your life.
2) You will come out with all your strength and your value and lighten up the world.

They are both possible, which one do you prefer?

love

Antonis

Once upon a time there was a little girl
One day her parents realized that she started behaving strangely. She started acting like a baby, defending herself against everything and everyone, crying for no real reason, talking with baby voice, and also showing this impatience that little children show when they expect something exciting to happen.

This behavior was getting more intensive and more obvious as the days were passing so they decided to ask a psychologist.

The mother called the psychologist to arrange for a date, and he asked a few questions on the phone.
-Isn’t your girl very clever and very responsible usually?
Isn’t she generally very polite and very kind to the people?
Doesn’t she understand things easily when there is no pressure?
The mother said that all these things he asked are true, that’s why it’s difficult for them to understand her behavior.

-Well, he said, there is nothing wrong with your daughter; she is just getting ready for school.
The father was also listening next to his wife, so they were both confused.
-What do you mean?
-It’s just a survival thing; she has to play a role in school because she is afraid of being rejected. She is very clever and others may be afraid of her, so she plays the role of the less clever, in order to survive. The other children may feel insecure or threatened; although I believe that the usual problem is not so much the other children but the teacher.

They stayed silent for a moment, so the psychologist said:
-The only difference between someone who is very clever and someone who is less clever is that the one who is cleverer knows there is no difference.

A few more moments of silence and the mother asked,
-Yes but why does she act like this without reason even when she doesn’t have to get ready for school?
-She does have an older brother or sister, doesn’t she?

Trying to be safe in a relationship makes you often keep your partner in a distance. The imaginary, or not, fear of being hurt, abused, exploited or exposed, makes you live part of your life and not the whole thing.
The question is why did you start this relationship, to be safe or to live and enjoy it? And are you ever really safe?

If you really want to have a worthy relationship, and I guess that’s why you are reading this,  you need to be fully open to your partner and this way make him/her open him/herself. On the other hand if this is impossible then you have to go away.
It doesn’t worth staying in a relationship that is based on fear, not even for the sake of the children. If you force your children to be part of a dysfunctional relationship/family they will experience this as a normal way of living; this means they will repeat the same patterns in their own relationships. This way you make more people unhappy.

Wanting to be safe is something that keeps you from living.
Of course I don’t recommend that you go on extreme sports or stupid dangerous actions just to prove that you are alive!
What I recommend is to live your life fully, allow experiences and emotions, and grow with them. Grow together with your partner and/or your friends.

Since we are talking about highly sensitive people (HSP), a meaningful relationship is very important for a sensitive person. Many sensitives try to be safe, but this usually means depression. So being safe is not being happy.
I understand that this defense is automatic and based on past experiences, but if you still want to live your life, ask for help to get rid of these automations.

Love

Antonis

Surprise! I mean it. Many people think that controlling is power, they couldn’t be more wrong.
Power is trust, power is giving space to the talents or the strengths of the others, power is trusting that you deserve the respect of the others without terrorizing them.

One of the main cases where people try to control is parenthood. When the child is very little of course the parents have to control, because of safety and learning. But a teenager needs space to develop self-control, self-esteem and understanding of the world.

And you can see what happens when the “kids” are not kids any more, they are grownups or even old people. In many cases parents, and especially mothers, try to control everything, and mostly little details. It’s not strange to see someone who is famous, powerful, has a Nobel prize or rules the world, and his mama will find the details to make him/her feel small, clumsy, useless and careless, like a not straight tie, the way he/she eats, cooks, drives, walks, stands or talks to his/her grand grandchildren

I believe that the last 100 years or so have been too hard for parents and especially for mothers. In many cases parents who were poor, illiterate or naïve, raised children who became powerful, wise, and full of knowledge. They felt small in front of their own creation. And the reason I say especially mothers, is because the older mothers didn’t go to schools or stopped early, didn’t develop free thinking because they were not allowed, so they feel lost in a world of strength, created by them.

So if you mother and/or your father still makes you feel stupid, weak, small or clumsy, understand them and forgive them. It’s the only way to stop this tradition in your family, which can be a small but important contribution to a freethinking world. And if it’s you who do it to your children, understand and forgive yourself and stop it now. Trust that you children can take care of themselves and that they have the right to have their own experiences.

Love

Antonis

Every really wise person will ask this question: do you prefer to be right or happy? Well most of us prefer to be right even if unhappiness is coming from this desire. And I can understand this.
First of all this is a world built on attack and defense. Everything is based on right or wrong, there are always wars running in many parts of this planet, and everything has to do with who is right and who is not.
Then it is the idea that by defending yourself you will survive and since life is unfair you always need to fight for survival.
Yes! The experience of all the people who fight for survival, or for being right is that people constantly fight them back. So according to their experience they are right.

Sometime, my wife and me decided to stop fighting for proving right, either between us or with the rest of the world. It was not easy in the beginning; people around us and especially our children didn’t believe us in the beginning, but every day it’s getting easier.
The result is that the external attacks are getting less and less, and since we don’t fight back they are stopping. And between us we know now that every problem has one or more solutions that usually come just a few minutes later, not days or weeks.

So it’s just a decision. If you decide step-by-step, day-by-day, in your relationships, to just stop defending yourself you will see things changing miraculously.

I hear you saying that it’s not easy! How do you know, did you try?
And of course if you don’t manage yourself ask for help, it’s your right to be happy!

love

Antonis

Most of us look at people and immediately stick a label on them. Beautiful, blond, fat, silly, strong, arrogant, dark… and we stick them without knowing anything about these people.

Of course I believe that the first impression is very important and if the intuition is offering the insight and the information then it is absolutely true.

But intuition doesn’t put labels. Labels are put by the ego.
Intuition does not judge, just gives information. Ego judges, trying to make others feel bad, in order to make us feel good (!!!).

Many think that they are smart by putting labels; there is a whole way of thinking where you are cool by just judging everybody around.
Well that’s not cool.
First of all you lose the real value of people around you and the chance to get something they can offer.
Then, since it’s easy to judge vulnerable people, you make them feel small and worthless while they have a lot to give. Seemingly vulnerable people, like highly sensitive (hsp) are in reality walking miracles, and they have so much to offer when this world finally accepts them.
Be advanced; get these offers first by exploring the people others reject. This is much cooler!

Train yourself to stop sticking labels. At all!
Then you will see a lot of value where there were labels before.

Love

Antonis

Dear friends,

I found this very interesting article about Life Coaching
and I would like to share it with you, 

Why Everyone Can Afford a Life Coach
by Lucinda Brimicombe

I didn’t know how effective life coaching was until I was coached for free by student coaches. After each session I would be stunned at the feelings I would experience – empowered, focussed and content.

How often in an average day do you feel truly empowered, focused and content? In a week? A month?

Of course, to be coached does not always cause those feelings I’ve just described, as the outcome of a session very much depends upon what you’ve decided to be coached on.

What are you doing about your dreams and desires? What are you doing about those things you always moan about to your friends, family and colleagues? Are they tired of hearing the same old record? Are you tired of hearing the same old record? Life’s too short!

Human beings are creatures of habit – we repeat things over and over, hoping for a different result, when in fact, we usually always get the same result. This is called being stuck in a rut and is a common reason to seek coaching.

Imagine the scenario – you’re having a chat with a close friend about something that’s been on your mind. They’re eagerly interrupting to tell you what they think you should do about you, you don’t really agree, yet the conversation moves on and you’re still left with that something on your mind. How would you deal with that something next? Talk to someone else? Push it to the back of your mind, only for it to resurface another time?

Close friends and family no doubt have good intentions for you, yet somebody else’s advice will not always be the best fit for you, and can be tainted by their own experiences and feelings. What if the person you were talking to could help you to come up with your own solutions? How likely would you be to follow your own advice and your own ideas? My guess is you’d like that very much!

The latter is what a Life Coach does. A Life Coach is skilled in listening, using their intuition to read in between the lines of what you’re saying and not saying, and asking powerful questions. A Life Coach will help you to explore a situation from a new perspective and to think creatively. In doing so you will gain clarity and discover your own solutions, and because they are your own solutions they are more likely to be successful.

Imagine a conversation in which you are the only one who matters, in which you are listened to 100%, in which nothing is too silly or ridiculous to discuss. This is a conversation in which you do not feel judged, but supported and safe. Imagine a conversation from which you cannot walk away without feeling positive, like you’re finally moving forwards towards something that you’ve wanted for a long time. This conversation can happen on a regular basis, and no matter what your day has been like, you know that a very committed individual will be on the end of the phone waiting for you, with just one agenda for you – to help you to achieve whatever it is to make you happier, more fulfilled, more balanced and more satisfied. This conversation is the coaching conversation.

How much time do you set aside each week to really focus on yourself? Are you happy with where you’re going in life? Can you say that you are completely fulfilled? Can you say that you are living a meaningful life?

So how much can you afford to invest in yourself? Are you worth it? If you do not think that you are worth it, then you definitely need coaching!

You will have to shop around for a Life Coach who charges prices that you can afford or want to pay. Life Coaches set their own prices, and charge different prices based upon the clients they market themselves to, and indeed their experience (although price alone is not a good indicator of experience).

The good news is, good coaches should offer a free, no obligation taster coaching session, which means that you can try before you buy. Alternatively, you could approach Life Coach training schools and be a volunteer for coaches in training.

Think about what you would like from a Life Coach. Would you like them to be in the same time zone as you? Would you only consider being coached in the evenings, or during the day, or at weekends? Would you like to commit to a coaching package, where you pay for so many sessions in advance, or would you prefer the freedom of ‘pay as you go’ coaching?

Good coaches should be able to provide you with testimonials and success stories, if they are not already on their website.

There are thousands of Life Coaches out there, who are genuinely enthusiastic about improving other people’s lives. The benefits to your life, happiness and general well being can be astonishing. Surely it’s worth a free try?

Author’s Bio
Lucinda is an accredited LIfe Coach based in London, UK.

Bill Gates made a list of 11 things they don’t teach in school. I agree with a few of them, not for the reasons he mentioned though. These are with Bill’s numbering:

1 Life is not fair…get used to it.
Well, it’s not! Waiting for justice in order to become happy you will just see life slipping through your hands.

10 Television is NOT real life.
Not only because in real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to work, as Bill says, but also because television is business and people get paid to play or say certain things. Most of them are lies, you don’t have to believe them.

11 Be nice to nerds. Bill gives as reason that “chances are you’ll end up working for one” but my explanation is that nerds have some way of thinking that is much different than macho or ego driven pupils (or not pupils). All the “smart” people in school or out of it think that nerds are serving the system, but the ones who serve and reproduce the system are the ones who play with the rules, let’s say with the rules of the bullies, in order to survive or to be loved and accepted, by other bullies in this case. Many nerds are sensitives (hsp) who still explore life and they are more open minded that you can imagine.

And this brings us to the next thing they don’t teach in school and it’s not also in the list of Bill. Love.
Not only the romantic love but love in general. You will hear your teacher telling you with very emotional voice how much he or she loves you, but they will never tell you what is love. Of course they don’t know themselves because they were never taught.
If they knew what really love is they would have to accept you just the way you are, especially as child, you would discover that you are perfect love yourself, and they are afraid that they would lose control over you. This of course because they think they have control over you, in reality they don’t even have control over themselves.

Next thing is money.
Of course they teach you how to count it, what change to take if you go to the super market, and also that money doesn’t grow on trees and you have to work hard to get it, which is a lie.
But they never talk about what money is and how it is created. This is something they teach, usually off the record, in economic universities making students feel proud that they know such a naughty secret.
Well, money is not what people think and the teachers don’t know (and don’t suppose to know) themselves.

Another thing is sex. It’s not only the taboo, it’s not the fear of being exposed in front of little children, it is because a balanced sexual life and an opinion about sex, not one that under- or over-values it, is something that can free your mind. The people who created education don’t want this, and the people who teach, or at least most of them, don’t have free mind.

Actually there are lots of things they don’t teach in schools or anywhere else, including family. You have two options now, the one is to believe everything they say and offer, the other is search by yourself and find out what is happening out there.
I recommend the second even if in the beginning will give you a lot of anger. But if you do it out of love and don’t stick to the anger, at the end it will liberate you.

Some people say that by taking care of conspiracy theories you make them real. I say that most conspiracy theories are real. You give them value if either you get angry and fight them or ignore them and live as they program you to.
Freedom is to know what is real and what is not, and chose every moment to play real life, angry or victim. Slavery is to think you are free while you are constantly angry and victim.

Love

Antonis

PS. Here is the huge contribution to this freedom by life coaches. Some people think that they are just like all professionals, trying to sell you something you don’t need. They couldn’t be more wrong. What they don’t know is how open the minds of those people are, how liberating was the time they were taught how to coach by being coached, and how they can contribute to your freedom. I see my clients after a few sessions how surprised they look from the changes they could never imagine in their minds and their lives.

As I said when I was talking about roadblock 3, sacrifice, the meaning of a relationship is “I accept you exactly as you are” and not “I want you to change”. This is why expecting something from the person you connect with, almost always leads to disappointment and pain.
To my opinion expectation is a highly conservative attitude. You expect someone to be a certain way when you cannot stand anything different from what you are or what you have experienced in your life. You are not open to explore life and anything new.
Just observe almost everything living on earth. Every creature, every species tries to be complete by “meeting” the opposite or supplementary. Can you see that trying to change someone in order to feel safe is against this natural way?

But I’m not asking you to control your behavior. I will never ask you this!

Great expectations are there because of insecurity, and it is a desire to control your world. In reality it is the belief that you don’t deserve to have good things in your life, so you try to control everything in order to get them. Of course you couldn’t trust that your friends or your lover are on your side.

I may sound like a broken record but there is also low self-esteem involved in this behavior. And it’s quite simple, if your self-esteem and your self-appreciation were high you wouldn’t even think that you don’t deserve the best, and of course whatever your partner offers is always the best. Not because you are in love with him/her but because you are in love with yourself and you enjoy everything appearing in your life.

If you have experienced difficulties in your relationships up to now, and your expectations are never fulfilled, is because you just need to drop them and enjoy what is there.

That means you need to work on your self-esteem and nothing else. You don’t have to change anybody, not even yourself, you just need to accept yourself and you will see happiness coming miraculously day-by-day.

You may have many questions and even doubts; just contact me to talk about it.

love

Antonis

The biggest traps in business if you are highly sensitive (hsp) are the programs that run in the back of your head. Sensitive people develop these programs because they tend to believe everything when they are children, and they are very vulnerable to judgment and abuse.
On the other hand the greatest gifts of a sensitive person in business are, inspiration, intuition, love for adventure, exploring and creating new business opportunities.
As you can see there are many more gifts than traps, so why the failure is so possible to happen?
These little programs can cause one of the worse enemies to a sensitive business person, and this is low self-esteem.
A sensitive child is very likely to be judged or teased by parents, teachers or relatives, because when a sensitive child explores the world and life, develops ideas that are not being understood by everyone. Although these ideas can be the seeds of a future genius, they sound very silly to the people who have an established view of the world (you know, fear of life and the future). And of course they will not miss a chance to express this. You know this pattern, when someone doesn’t understand something tries to show that the one who does is stupid. A sensitive child is a very easy target.

The result is that this child will not feel safe getting out in life.
Of course will grow up, will develop a lot of abilities, all these gifts will come up and help the sensitive person to, not only survive but live an extraordinary life.
Until the mind programs appear and sabotages everything.
This sabotage can take many forms. Stopping an action that leads to success, creating the conditions for failure, fighting with partners or persons that are keys to success, bringing the ego in front and destroying everything that has been created up to that point, even start suffering from a depression for no obvious reason.

I heard this story about Richard, a very good and sincere businessman, who had all the knowledge and the strength to build up a business and make it successful.
But every time he reached the point of breaking through to real success something happened that brought major financial losses and even lead to bankruptcy.

He hired a business coach who helped him uncover the limiting programs that were working in his subconscious mind: his father had died from a heart attack at the peak of his business success. Richard was child then, and his subconscious mind had connected his father’s success with his death. So, in order to stay alive himself, he needed to sabotage his business. Once he could see these connections he could let go of this limiting program and move on.

So this is not the end of the world. Programs patterns and limiting beliefs have power only as long as you ignore them. The moment you look at them and recognize them they start dissolving. And in the case of Richard a coach was the perfect help to help him see these little problems that caused a lot of damage.

The most important is that you cannot see these programs with bare eye. You can see only the results in your business and your life, and then it’s usually too late.
You need tools in order to see them in time, and coaching is the best tool.

love

Antonis

There are two ways to deal with your sensitivity. The one is to see it as a gift, to develop it and learn how to use it for living; the other is to use it as an excuse for hiding.

I see many people legalizing procrastination using sensitivity as an excuse.
To make things clear, my job is to help people who want to move forward.
I’m not working on your “problems”, that means I coach you WHILE YOU ARE LIVING and not by stopping life to talk about it.
I’m not going to legalize your whining I will support you to drop it.
I’m not going to accept that you are a victim, even if you have all the proofs in the world that you are.
I’m not going to help you feel good about your suffering. No way! 

In 1996 Elaine Aron created the term “Highly Sensitive Person” or HSP to describe and study a great part of the population (and also of higher animals) that has a different way to deal with stimuli, information, thoughts and emotions. This term is neither metaphysical nor spiritual, is very practical and very scientific and has to do with psychology.
Of course for many people this was a connection to spiritual terms, like “light worker”, “indigo” and “crystal”, and this makes sense because all the people who are considered to be able to understand and receive delicate vibrations can only be highly sensitive. If you agree or not with those terms is another story, it’s rather your relationship with spirituality.
The only thing I disagree is the characterization of some people as “special” because being special is being limited. Someone who is special must always take care of the image and the concept which represents, and for someone who has already a lot of information coming through this fine tuned body and mind it’s a heavy weight.
Special is a term that I don’t agree, in every level. Many people consider themselves as special just because they have money, beauty, high IQ, luck, abilities for one or the other thing, you know, good drivers, good lovers, good cooks etc. But if you try to be special using one thing as excuse you may appear as ordinary or even less than that in other fields.
The worse thing, especially for highly sensitive children, is when the parents try to show them, and everyone else, how special they are. I see parents very proud about their child being smart, very good pupil, indigo or crystal, strong or beautiful. This is the best way to burn your child out.
I have millions of examples and also personal experience on this.
Being special can attract admiration but can also create isolation and envy. Too much weight for a child, especially a sensitive child.

Treat everyone as ordinary and let them decide what to do with their gifts themselves. Consider the “special” gifts as something natural and not as something metaphysical. Let them enjoy the benefits of having abilities and share them with everyone. Everyone has an extra ability.
Ask for help or advice.

Everyone’s body and everything around it is limited by default, even if it’s “special”.
Everyone’s spirit is perfect and unlimited anyway.

Sacrifice is considered to be the ultimate prove of love anyone can offer. Music, literature, movies, fairy tales, art in general, but also religion and tradition talk about the sacrifice using the most inspired words.
But is it like this in reality?
My experience is completely different. Sacrifice is a tool for bonding people, for making someone belong to you.
See all the parents what did they sacrifice for their children and what do they want from them afterwards.
Remember also the phrase “I gave you the best years of my life” and think what does this person want in return.
Sacrifice creates guilt. “I gave you so many,” means, “you gave me much less or nothing”. “I want nothing in return,” means, “I want you to feel guilty” or “you are worthless”.
The most important, all these clichés mean “I am better than you” or “you don’t deserve my kindness”.
As I mentioned in previous roadblocks, guilt is not a good base for a relationship of every kind, especially of a romantic one.

There is absolutely no need for sacrifice in any kind of relationship. The meaning of a relationship is “I accept you exactly as you are” and not “I want you to change (sacrifice) so I can take you” or “if you stay like this I will have to sacrifice”. If changes have to occur then there is no meaning in this relationship, it is a conditional love, if love at all.

Now you may ask what happens in extreme cases, like sickness or disability of every kind.
Of course you can go on being with this person that needs you, if you do it out of love. If you don’t have to stop your life you can find every little, or big, opportunity to have joy and share it with this person.
If you need to sacrifice, let someone else do it. Or else you will just avoid living your life and you will use this disabled person as an excuse for this, trying to feel and show superior and making this person feel bad for stopping your life and freedom.

For many highly sensitive people (hsp) sacrifice has a special meaning. As children they were “too sensitive”, which means that they experienced the need to be different, in order to be accepted, from their early years; and also the heavy weight of parents sacrifice, having to accept them as difficult children.
Children are helpless when facing this behavior, because they have no alternative.

Remember the tag line? “And not even a thank you!”

Well we can say it in advance: “Sacrifice? No thank you!”